Children love enemas! （浣腸）

Well, at least simulated ones. Any English teacher in Japan worth his weight in salt has dealt with large groups of children. It's fun because you don't have to impress anyone, and if you're a good teacher you can get children interested in foreign language and culture. There is one aspect of Japanese culture, however, that will shock the unwary English teacher: THE KANCHO - or the enema.

As i said, it's not a real enema - you put your hands together with index fingers extended (like a gun) and then jam it into an unsuspecting person's anal area. You think I'm joking? I have pictures!





Again, if you are going to teach in Japan, you'll have about a week before the most obnoxious kid in the group tries it with you. BUT YOU WILL HAVE A SECRET WEAPON. When you receive your first kancho, the child that jabbed your rear will expect you to turn around with a shocked face and perhaps run out of the room screaming. "Silly gaijin!" he might be thinking in his perverted little mind. You, however, will turn this into a teachable moment.

You grab the kid, put him on the ground, pull up his legs (revealing his rear), and shout "KANCHO HODAI!" (All-you-can-enema~!) His former friendly playmates will then unleash a barrage of finger strikes that will make it impossible for him to sit for a week.

Any questions? Play the video game.

HEP - the weird ferris wheel.

One of the coolest places in Osaka, other than Hikakebashi and Namba Walk, is the Hankyu HEP Department store located in Umeda.

Well, let me start over. Osaka has about 8 million people, and the majority refer to the cool areas of Osaka as either Kita (North) or Minami (South). Kita refers to the Umeda supercomplex of Hankyu Umeda Station and JR Osaka Station. Minami is Namba, Nipponbashi (the Akihabara of Osaka, but all the freaks hang out at Tennoji and Osaka Castle Park), Shinsaibashi, and America-Mura. I prefer Minami, and my wife likes Kita.

Anyway, in Kita there is one huge shopping building called HEP that has a HUGE ferris wheel attached to the top of it. Except for one building in Osaka Business Park, this is the best view available in Osaka.

Look, I can see my wife's old college from here!!

Their latest sale commercial.

Hiyashi Rice: The real Japanese Curry

If AEZ is gonna say that Japanese Curry is the real Japanese curry, well I say no! Hiyashi rice is the real Japanes Curry, simply because Japanese created it in contrast to the diminished taste of English Curry, which serves as a model for Japanese Curry. Hayashi Rice is the true Japanese Curry, because it changes the ingredients and taste considerably from English Curry.



While some might think that Japanese curry is somehow different from English curry, it really is not!




Only hayashi rice is different in taste. But I've been drinking and playing shogi, so who cares!

Eropuri?

Most people know about Purikura (Print Club) devices and their ubiquity in Japan. Any decent game center has a slew of Purikura devices to take the modified photos of Japanese high school girls and friends. You put $3 in, you get 6-24 pictures back on one sheet.




This, like all other things in this world, eventually becomes corrupt, and thus Eropuri (Erotic Print Club) was born. Most of it is harmless underwear shots:




Some of it, however, can be a real turn on (especially the symbols
"Graduation" there (many young idols "graduate" from their idol group to do their first gravure photobook in Japan):

I owe you man...

Japanese care about indebtedness and reciprocity, in other words, what they technically owe other people in terms of social obligation, and how much they need to return to be socially acceptable to others. In other words - Japanese have two Valentine's days!

WHAT!?!?!??!

Suppose you are middle level management in a Japanese firm, and Valentine's day rolls around. DON'T GIVE CANDY TO ANYONE! Instead, sit back and relax while an inordinate amount of chocolate is given to you by every female member of the staff. And don't misinterpret it, they're only doing it because it is social obligation (giri - 義理). In fact, all of that sugar-laden sweetness is called giri-choko　(義理チョコ) or obligation chocolate. (Notice, there are no men in this picture)


Wait one month, and White Day arrives on March the 14th. This is when all the men give Giri-choko to all the female members of the staff. Again, NO ROMANCE NECESSARY.

Weird isn't it. But what I REALLY wanted to teach were two phrases:

Osewa ni narimashita - お世話になりました - I'm indebted to you.
Osewa ni shite kurete (familiar)/ kudasatte (formal) arigatou (gozaimasu) お世話にして「くれて・下さって」ありがとう（ございます） - Thank you for taking care of me (or the situation that has direct relation to me)

Osewa （お世話） literally is an indebtedness that you have incurred directly or indirectly due to someone helping you with a problem, or indirectly aiding you (like showing your lost son where home was). It is a very usable phrase, and even when a Japanese person helps you find you way from Ikebukuro to Shibuya by train, remember the phrase: Domo, osewa ni narimashita.