Children love enemas! （浣腸）

Well, at least simulated ones. Any English teacher in Japan worth his weight in salt has dealt with large groups of children. It's fun because you don't have to impress anyone, and if you're a good teacher you can get children interested in foreign language and culture. There is one aspect of Japanese culture, however, that will shock the unwary English teacher: THE KANCHO - or the enema.

As i said, it's not a real enema - you put your hands together with index fingers extended (like a gun) and then jam it into an unsuspecting person's anal area. You think I'm joking? I have pictures!





Again, if you are going to teach in Japan, you'll have about a week before the most obnoxious kid in the group tries it with you. BUT YOU WILL HAVE A SECRET WEAPON. When you receive your first kancho, the child that jabbed your rear will expect you to turn around with a shocked face and perhaps run out of the room screaming. "Silly gaijin!" he might be thinking in his perverted little mind. You, however, will turn this into a teachable moment.

You grab the kid, put him on the ground, pull up his legs (revealing his rear), and shout "KANCHO HODAI!" (All-you-can-enema~!) His former friendly playmates will then unleash a barrage of finger strikes that will make it impossible for him to sit for a week.

Any questions? Play the video game.